A 2017 study found that 57% of males and 54% of females admitted to committing infidelity in one or more of their relationships. It's important to remember that, in most cases, it's not a reflection of their love for you but a reflection of how they are feeling about themselves at that moment. While cheating and affairs are very challenging issues to face as a couple, there are effective ways of responding that can make a significant difference in whether your relationship survives or ends.And today, I will be outlining how person-centred therapy can support your relationship in overcoming infidelity. Additionally, I will explore the differences between affairs, adultery and infidelity so that you can understand the implications of each.

Defining Affairs, Adultery, and Infidelity

You may be thinking these are all terms for the same thing, but there's a thin line between the three, and in order to process and heal, it’s helpful to know what you have been through.

What is an affair?

An affair is a romantic or sexual relationship that occurs alongside a committed relationship or marriage. Although usually short-lived, they can also last for years and may involve extreme emotional connections.

What is adultery?

Adultery, on the other hand, is explicitly sexual relations between a married person and someone that isn't their spouse. This is often seen as a legal term, especially with consequences for divorce proceedings in certain jurisdictions.

What is infidelity?

Infidelity is probably the most complex of the three. Infidelity is much less straightforward than the above, as it covers many forms of unfaithfulness and breaches of trust within a committed relationship. For instance, if an individual takes part in several emotional affairs, sexual affairs or other acts that essentially betray a partner's trust.

How Can Therapy Help With Unfaithfulness?

There are several ways to deal with infidelity in a marriage or partnership, including self-care and taking the time to process your emotions. But seeking couples therapy is known to be one of the best solutions to your pain and suffering and uncovering a path forward, either together or separately. Here's why:

It provides a safe space.

First and foremost, a therapist gives you that much-needed safe space to express your inner and deepest emotions. In a neutral, non-judgemental and comfortable environment, couples can express their fears, feelings and concerns regarding the affair and uncover the real reasoning behind their actions. Open communication and honest exploration of emotions are crucial for success, which is easier to achieve when you feel you can be raw, honest and open.

It helps you to address underlying issues.

In most cases, infidelity is often a case of deeper issues within the relationship or the individuals involved. A therapist's job is to help you identify these issues and facilitate discussions around them so that you can better understand each other and why it happened. In some cases, it is only in therapy that the real underlying causes come to light.

It helps you to rebuild trust.

Trust is one of the core elements of any relationship, and it is often shattered by an affair. A therapist, such as myself, will strategically guide sessions in order to rebuild trust and establish a stronger foundation for the future. They will do this through various techniques and exercises designed to focus on the strengths of your bond.

It helps develop communication skills.

Effective communication is just as important as trust in a relationship. When learning how to cope with an affair, communication is key to addressing the matter and the reasoning behind it. In a therapy session, you will openly communicate your feelings, needs and expectations clearly and effectively. From this, your paths will align, and you'll be able to move forward.

It helps you make difficult decisions.

Lastly, it'll give you the opportunity to make that pressing decision of whether you should stay together or break it off. For some couples, ending their relationship feels like the only resolution, as they cannot look past the betrayal. However, a therapist can help bring both parties back to the heart of the relationship, ensuring that this is the right decision to be made.They will support couples in any decision they make - even if it means assisting with the separation or divorce process. And they will do this with the utmost compassion and empathy to make you feel as at ease as possible.

Why Specifically Seek Person-Centred Therapy for Infidelity?

When it comes to cheating in marriage, there is no copy-and-paste solution for each couple. Instead, it depends on the individuals and what works best for them. As dealing with infidelity is a complex and emotionally challenging process, I always recommend opting for person-centred therapy with a focus on the attachment style of each individual.This is a fantastic therapeutic approach for healing and decision-making, as it allows you both to take ownership of your sessions. My role is to offer empathy, listening and guidance in your sessions with me, but your roles are to communicate. As a result, you will experience a new sense of respect, self-awareness, growth, self-discovery and understanding of your partner. Therefore, nurturing your bond in ways that you have never done before. Something that other, more directive methods of therapy may not allow you to tap into as effectively.

Contact Me Today

When learning how to deal with an affair in a marriage, it goes without saying that it is one of the most distressing and emotionally draining journeys to ever embark upon. Understanding the reasons, outweighing the negatives and ensuring that you don't sabotage your self-assurance is a hardship, but one that you don't have to do alone.Whether you seek person-centred therapy as an individual or as a couple, you will gain invaluable support during such a challenging time. If you'd like to make the first step in a peaceful future, contact me today via email at therapy@liddycarver.co.uk for more details or book a session via my website.