Mental health conditions can greatly impact a person, especially when they don’t recognise that they need support, or they don’t understand what’s happening to them. If you feel your friend or loved one is struggling with a mental health problem, it’s important to talk to them about it and ensure they know that you are there to support them - without coming across as condescending or judgemental. However, this is often easier said than done, and it may leave you wondering - how should you approach the topic with them? I’ve created this guide to help you open up communication in a calm and productive manner.

How to identify that your friend may have a mental health condition?

Mental health issues can sometimes make a person act differently, for example, making outgoing people suddenly reclusive or confident people become anxious. In some cases, you can easily pick up on your friend’s changed behaviour. However, with some people, the signs might not be obvious. Often people don’t realise their loved ones need support until they have been struggling alone for quite some time and progressively got worse.How someone behaves due to mental health issues differs in every case. However, there are some sure-shot signs that you can consider in this regard. These signs more often include:

•       Experiencing difficulty in regulating emotions.
•       Not performing effectively at work or school.
•       Disruptions or changes in appetite or sleep patterns.
•       Struggle with maintaining relationships.
•       History of experiencing trauma.
•       No longer enjoying activities or things they used to love.

Talking to friends about depression and mental health can be an effective way to help them realise that they are not alone and that you are there to support them. Admitting you are experiencing issues with your mental health is a scary confession, and it’s important not to feel downhearted if they do not immediately open up. They need to feel completely comfortable to share their challenges, and if they do not do so, this is not a reflection on their relationship with you - rather of their own emotions and insecurities.

How to talk about mental health with friends?

Sadly, there is still some stigma attached to therapy, so when approaching the topic with a friend, it needs to be carefully navigated. Many people hesitate to reach out to therapists to get professional support and guidance. Some do not feel that their problems are worth making “a fuss about”, whereas others are scared that they will be judged for being in therapy or even by their therapist. As their friend, you can help them to break this misconception and ensure they are aware that being in counselling is nothing to be ashamed of and that it is a safe, supportive space. Therapy can help anyone going through grief, stress, depression, anxiety, etc., and it helps to improve our quality of life, thought processes, and behaviours.When talking to your friend about their mental health, it’s important that you are delicate and do not make assumptions. You can’t just straightforwardly state that they need some help. This would likely cause offence and potentially damage your relationship with them. A better approach is to let them lead the conversation and share their own thoughts and feelings first, and if possible, find areas where you can relate. Once they feel comfortable sharing with you, you can then work together to find a path to recovery.

Adopt a supportive and non-judgmental approach.

Firstly, it’s important to understand that asking your friend to share their feelings is not always a fast process. They may want to pretend that everything is fine, and if they do this, the best thing you can do is give them the space and support to share their feelings in their own time. Pushing your loved one to open up will likely cause them to lock away their struggles even further. If your friend is sharing their feelings, this means they want to speak out about the things that they are struggling with, which is a very positive sign. Just focus on showing them that you are supportive and not judging them for anything they say.

Share your experiences to relate.

Sharing your related experiences can sometimes be a way to comfort your friend. This practice helps them to feel more comfortable talking with you as you are both sharing everything openly. If you have once struggled with depression, you could tell them the story of your depressive situation and how you got out of it. This helps to remind them that they are not alone and that it is possible to recover no matter how dire the situation may feel.

Ask your friend how you can help.

Asking how you can help will show your care and will also take away the guesswork. They may simply need a shoulder to cry on or someone to help them find a therapist or gain additional support. By letting them lead the way, you can ensure you are offering them the support they need - rather than what you think they need. Sometimes people do not feel they deserve or are worthy of your help and time, so be sure to remind them how much they matter to you. Even if they aren’t sure how you could help, your question will encourage them to think about it proactively.

Don’t get into the process alone.

Always remember, you can’t solve mental health issues alone. It is admirable to want to help your friend, but it can gradually impact your mental health too! If you feel that the support they need is more than you can offer, help them to find a trustworthy counsellor who can help them. Professional help is available, and by contacting an experienced and highly trained therapist, you can ensure your loved one is getting the best support possible. If your friend is still unsure about therapy, you could break down the barriers by accompanying them to their sessions until they feel ready to start going alone.I am a Warrington-based therapist that specialises in person-centred therapy, which means everything I do is crafted around my individual patients' needs. I’ve supported countless patients through issues like bereavement, PTSD, abuse, depression, anxiety and many other common conditions, and I am confident that I can help your loved one. Get in touch today to discuss my in-person or online counselling sessions and step towards a brighter future.