Infidelity is a common issue in many relationships, and when it happens, it can cause an incredible amount of damage. However, the boundaries and what classifies as cheating can be hard to determine, and different people can see what is and what is not acceptable differently.In this day and age, some people find creative ways to push the limits in their search for thrills. Sadly, micro-cheating is a very common method at present, and even though it may not be seen to be as bad as having a physical affair, the damage to a relationship can be similar. Worst of all, some people are risking their relationships by micro-cheating without even realising it, thanks to technology.Micro-cheating is serious - it can damage self-esteem, confidence and happiness and cause long-term damage to the stability of a relationship. Read more about this style of infidelity below.

What is micro-cheating?

Micro-cheating is all about cultivating small acts of inappropriate or flirty behaviour with people that are not your partner. This subtle style of cheating doesn't include physical intimacy with others, like sex, heavy petting, or kissing. It is often small acts such as playful flirting, messaging each other in secret, or even sharing compliments and comments through social media. These actions can be problematic for couples and lead to distrust and hurt feelings. When you have agreed to an exclusive relationship, this type of behaviour can hurt your partner’s feelings - even if it never goes any further than flirting online.However, some people don't see emotional affairs as cheating until there’s some intimate physical contact. This disconnect in beliefs makes it even more common and can leave both people feeling upset and confused. The betrayal of trust and secrecy could really hurt and upset one member of the relationship while leaving the other feeling that their partner is overreacting to the situation that they believed was harmless.

Examples of micro-cheating behaviours you must know

Although the behaviours classified as micro-cheating mainly depend upon the type of relationship agreement you have, here are some general examples of micro-cheating:

•       Cultivating erotic and intimate energy with someone out of the relationship.
•       Trying to have frequent intimate interactions with your exes.
•       Developing an emotional closeness fantasy with others.
•       Draining your erotic energy somewhere on social media.

Micro-cheating, more often than not, starts by lying to yourself and convincing yourself that it is okay to have an attraction and interest in others as long as you do not act upon it. To determine the harm of these habits, it’s important to consider whether what you are doing will distance or deepen your connection with your partner. Your answer to this question can help you to stay honest with yourself - and with them.

Should you worry about micro-cheating?

Micro-cheating can impact your relationship negatively, even if these acts look inconsequential. This practice can cause gradual attrition of trust, reduce the attention and care you provide your partner and encourage temptation to act on your thoughts. At times, micro-cheating can lead you to a situation that can eventually turn out to be outright cheating.Above all, these minor trust breaches can majorly impact your relationship. Micro-cheating turns out to be a severe matter mainly because people, in the beginning, aren't aware that they are doing something wrong. Therefore, micro-cheating doesn’t have any clear boundaries, unlike physical cheating. Often people do not realise what they have done until it is too late, and their partner has either found out, or the desires have led to a physical affair.

Can therapy and counselling help to fix this behaviour?

Communication is always one of the best ways to fix your relationship, even when dealing with micro-cheating. Is your relationship getting hard because of micro-cheating? Are you finding yourself spending more time daydreaming about other people than valuing your partner? Don’t underestimate the fact that this problem can damage the long-term health of your relationship and cause irrevocable damage.Couples therapy or individual counselling can undoubtedly help you to understand why you or your partner is behaving in this manner. In most cases, there’s an underlying issue that is causing you or your significant other to thrill-seek and feel disengaged with your relationship. All relationships take effort and honesty from both sides to keep them healthy, and if micro-cheating has become an issue, by analysing your relationship and behaviour, you can figure out why it has occurred and how to prevent it in the future. Speaking with a professional in a safe, judgement-free space can help you to get to the root cause and address it before any more damage is done. As a highly experienced therapist based in Warrington, I’ve supported countless clients with their relationship problems and destructive behaviour patterns. Together, we can help you to address what actually matters the most to you and uncover why the micro-cheating has occurred.Although micro-cheating may seem harmless at first, it's always better to avoid this as much as possible to save your relationship and seek out professional support if you find yourself stuck in a damaging routine.