‍Guilt is a feeling of worry or unhappiness which is a consequence of doing something we feel is wrong, such as causing harm to another person, lying, stealing or cheating. It's completely natural and a feeling that we all experience throughout our lives. Unfortunately, it can dramatically impact our physical and mental health if we don't deal with it in the best way possible. That's why it's essential that you learn to let go of your guilt before it causes any more harm.

What are the four types of guilt?

There are four types of guilt: natural guilt, chronic guilt, collective guilt and survivor's guilt. Natural guilt is where you may feel guilty after doing something you deem bad or wrong. For example, if you have lied to a friend or family member about something meaningful. Chronic guilt, on the other hand, is when you do something you regret following prolonged exposure to stress. Collective guilt is an emotion you experience if your social group has perpetrated immoral acts. It's a shared responsibility where, for example, you feel guilty for the actions caused by your country - such as a war or any acts caused by the government. Survivor's guilt is where you feel guilty that you have survived a tragic event that others may not have. Perhaps you feel guilty for not 'doing enough' to help or that someone lost their life saving yours. Whatever type of survivor's guilt you may have, it's a valid emotion that you can overcome with the help of therapy.

Be aware of the signs of guilt and how they differ from shame.

Nobody knows yourself better than you do. Once you register the signs of your guilt, you can better understand how to deal with them. Some symptoms may include being sensitive to the effects of actions, being overwhelmed by the possibility of making the 'wrong' decision, and having low self-esteem. Not only that, but you may also put others before yourself, neglecting your own needs. Once you are aware of these signs, differentiate guilt from shame. Guilt is concerned with your responsibility for harmful behaviour. Shame instead implies a nonmoral negative self-evaluation and concerns a perceived discrepancy between your actual and ideal self.Once you’ve understood the difference, it's time to work towards putting these emotions to bed. By leaving them to boil in your mind, it can cause significant issues with your mental health. As humans, we all experience a wide range of emotions, but do we deserve to dwell on things in the past that cause us so much harm? Whether you’re in the wrong or not, establishing your wrongdoing and even apologising is often enough to let go of the guilt you feel.

How can you overcome guilt?

Do you want to overcome guilt over past mistakes? Then here is my guidance on doing so.

Apologise for your mistakes.

Have you made amends with those involved yet? A sincere apology is a top priority when overcoming guilt as you convey remorse and show that you won't make the same mistake again. Although the other party may not forgive you, it's the first step to achieving closure. This way, you acknowledge your mistakes and are committed to making changes in the future to ensure history does not repeat itself.

Learn from your mistakes.

It may feel like a mistake isn’t redeemable, and while it may not be to those you hurt, it can be to yourself.  If you learn from your mistakes and understand why they were so wrong, combine that with the consequences that you’re facing, and you’ll soon find that you never want to do something of that sort again. What led to the error in the first place? How will you avoid repeating this mistake in the future? These are a few of the questions that you need to ask yourself.

Practise gratitude to cope with your mistakes.

Some people feel guilty when they need support. They may need additional care while they are unwell or have a partner who is their primary carer, and they feel that they are holding them back. In these cases, it can help to practise gratitude techniques such as thanking people for their kindness or committing to paying them back. This will help you to cultivate gratitude and stop feeling guilty. Acknowledge what they have done for you and show your appreciation. Focus on the positives around you.

Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Lastly, forgiveness is key. Self-forgiveness is a powerful tool which you can use to acknowledge a mistake and move on with your life. Many mistakes are trivial and only need a moment. But there are others which do require some more thought. Forgiving yourself allows you to take responsibility for your actions and own up to them, then move forward. It also allows you to commit to yourself, ensuring that you’ll make amends if required. Everybody deserves forgiveness, no matter the mistake. Even if you cannot find it elsewhere, forgive yourself now that you are aware of what you did wrong.It's normal to feel guilty over past mistakes. But the worst thing you can do is let it sit in your mind, causing even more harm to your mentality. Person-centred therapy could be your answer to relieving such a negative emotion. As a person-centred counsellor based in Warrington, Cheshire, I have a wealth of experience in helping all my clients to heal and find a path forward.If you would like to learn more about how I work - or if you want to book a session - please visit my website and let's get you on the road to recovery.