‍Over 40% of UK marriages ended in divorce in 2020, around 103,592 British couples, to be exact. However, with the help of couples therapy, this statistic can read in a much healthier way. The techniques utilised during relationship therapy allow me to help many couples overcome disputes, trust issues and adultery, among other issues. But how do I achieve this?Essentially, I ensure my clients practise as many relationship therapy exercises, couples therapy interventions, and numerous ways of communicating more effectively as possible, which can easily be easily used at home. From reflective listening to narrative therapy, we can work together to cover all grounds so that you give your relationship the best chances of survival.Here's a closer look at what to expect:

What common exercises do therapists use in couples therapy?

People learn and express themselves in different ways. Therefore, I always explore several couples therapy activities to find one that works for each individual within that relationship. A vision board exercise, for instance, is often effective for those who learn and adapt to visual elements. This vision board outlines your goals as a partnership and can showcase your shared desires, even where issues could arise due to different outlooks. While it's tangible evidence of your love, it can also help you to put into perspective how marriage is a work in progress. Accordingly, you'll both put in the same effort to appreciate each other's desires, wants and needs and learn to give ground where needed. Furthermore, you'll have goals to work towards and better understand the types of issues to avoid.Other similar therapy exercises include eye gazing, discovering each other's love language, and the six-second kiss. But please note that your needs will determine your exercises as a couple.

Expressing appreciation and practising gratitude.

To maintain a strong and healthy relationship, it is paramount that you regularly express appreciation for one another, whether this is through word of mouth or actions. How else would you know you're appreciated if the other doesn't express this? And vice-versa. Of course, you can do this through conversation and texting. But if this doesn't come as naturally to you as it once did, you can also practise this in couples therapy to make it more familiar for everyday life.In the same breath, gratitude boosts one's well-being. By telling your partner what you value within the relationship and about them as a person, they will feel a sense of achievement. As the saying goes, it's the little things you must consider too. Voice the things you see that your partner brings to the relationship and the impactful actions your partner displays specifically in your couples counselling session. Again, this will allow you to understand each other better.

What are the best couples therapy techniques?

Emotion-focused therapy.

A popular technique used by many relationship therapists is emotion-focused therapy (EFT) which addresses an individual's depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress. Not only that, but therapists use this effective method to repair family bonds. In terms of EFT for couples, this variation attempts to foster the creation of a secure bond between partners.This short-term relationship therapy approach covers three stages: de-escalation, restructuring and consolidation. De-escalation focuses on identifying negative interaction patterns, while restructuring helps you share your emotions. Lastly, consolidation allows you to work on new communication strategies. EFT is proven to help couples worldwide overcome their infidelity issues and other traumatic experiences they have shared.

The Gottman method.

The three components of the Gottman method comprise assessment, framework and intervention. During the assessment phase, your therapist will speak with you together to get an idea of your role in the relationship and how you perceive your strengths and vulnerabilities. You'll also fill out a questionnaire during this stage to get a sense of where you're at in the relationship.As for the framework, you'll decide on the sessions' duration and frequency to suit your lifestyle and what you want to achieve. Lastly, during the intervention stage, your therapist will aim to strengthen your relationship through friendship techniques and conflict management. Essentially, the goals of this method are to undo negative verbal communication and increase intimacy and respect within your relationship. As a result, you may empathise more with your partner and understand them better as a person, ultimately building a stronger unit.

Reflective listening.

Would you say you actively listen to your partner? For example, do you hear or say, "So you feel…", "It sounds like you…", "You're wondering if.." or "For you, it's like…"? If these don't sound familiar, you're either lacking in communication or are not listening to your partner express their concerns.By practising reflective listening, you can significantly improve your communication skills and learn how to resolve conflicts efficiently and effectively. Your therapist may even require you to practise this technique during a couples therapy session. During said session, you are encouraged to avoid making judgements as your partner's opinions and feelings are as valid as yours. Instead, it helps you focus on verbal and non-verbal cues to improve your listening skills.

Solution-focused therapy.

One last technique which your therapist may recommend is solution-focused therapy. Solution-focused therapy incorporates positive psychology principles and practices to encourage change by constructing solutions rather than focusing on the problem itself. It's a positive approach that formulates, motivates, achieves, and sustains desired behavioural change. The usefulness and brevity of this technique make it incredibly popular.Which of your issues stands out the most to you? Which affects you the most? In solution-focused therapy, your therapist addresses and reviews these problems. Then, delving into the core of the problem, they can help you to see what you both must do to avoid such issues. They may even introduce the 'miracle question' - your therapist will ask you to imagine a world where your problems have vanished, thus providing insight into what you want to achieve outside of the issues.Relationships require care and patience. If you incorporate such therapy techniques into your everyday life, I am confident that you will begin to live a much happier and healthier life with your partner. As a person-centred counsellor based in Warrington, Cheshire, I have a wealth of experience in helping all my clients find the right solutions for them. If you would like to learn more about how I work - or if you want to book a session - please visit my website and let's get you on the road to recovery.